i am in a bit of a funk. really. i had this thought that, well, perhaps if nothing came out of my mouth that was not positive... the results could be stupendous?
note my own doubt.
it would of course, have to be an experiment as i have never managed to maintain either perfect composure or perfect sanity 24/7.
in other words, with all the bravado i have been supposedly maintaining, there is a rather large overriding piece of me running out of steam. and all of my famous reserves appear to have taken reservations elsewhere!
yes, we have got a new tenant...once i get the check! they will be arriving july 1. hopefully! they will be moving into our home and we shall be moving into the guest cottage. does this means we are now the guests of our own home?
i have been through several rounds of let go of the home.
obviously, the game is not over. i have been hesitant on a few fronts as my state is scathingly close to immersion in sadness and tears. and, oh, how i dread that.
all right then. i think for the next hour, i am going to allow myself to be unbecomingly sorrowful and pathetic and needy. perhaps then i shall get it out of my system!
that in itself is a cheery thought. i feel at last, a small smile come to me.
actually, i feel several rounds of cheeriness making their mark upon my face.
all right then. let's jump into the pot of overwhelming sadness and angst and see how long i can take it!
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