day 1.

omg. (oh, my god), if you are as old as i am and are unfamiliar with acronyms and texting.
go ahead- ask away- why in the world am i writing a blog? good question. first answer: i cannot afford therapy. there. it is out, straightforward and to the point. second: why not? third: because.
ok. let's get on with it.
i am 57 with a fake screen name. why? hmmmm. well, obviously i don't want anyone i know to know i am writing this. secondly, because.
which will provide the answer to a lot of your questions if they even come up here. mostly, though, i want to provide answers and maybe, well, i guess we shall see what light the maybe will bring.
now. down to business.
to begin, i suppose i will start in the middle. or the present. and then on to my middle.
i have recently ended an 8 1/2 year relationship. great, right? i mean, great that I ended it! that is a good thing. HE did not. well, he did the first time, but i certainly got him back now, didn't i?
why? good question. let's see. where do i begin? he was not interested in commitment. oh, that was ok. i didn't believe it- i knew i could change him. so, i struggled along with that one for a few years. what else? he also didn't want to raise my kids. with a been there, done that attitude. and, yes, there was a large age difference. classic. older guy, younger woman. and yes, it was absolutely, totally insane. the part about him not wanting to raise my children and me sticking around. oh, i thought i could make that work! ok. now we are beginning to pick up a pattern here. third. he lied. fourth. he cheated. well, i didn't know about four of course, until i checked his email which i now hear may be a punishable by law offense, so...Be Careful Ladies! now, you get the picture. but no. i could not just pack up and leave after the first clanging siren and red flag warning. no way! my choice was to buck up and shut up and cling, unbecomingly, to all the glitz, glam and "love" he tossed in my direction.
am i odd????
sadly, i seem to be more the norm than not.
they have programs for people like me.