hi people!
am taking a short sabbatical.
will return soon or when my fans beckon, haha!
much love.
z
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
moon day
my kids ask, “mom did you ever try drugs?”
and i don’t know what I am supposed to say.
when I was in college, taking 21 units and not knowing what i wanted to be when i grew up, i took acid one night. reason? i don't know. the moon was full.
we didn’t call it taking drugs. we were just young people seeking a spiritual experience. so my inspiration from that experience was, quit school and go to hawaii-i went to a place i had heard about called taylor camp. this was the story that was told to me- elizabeth taylor’s brother owned this amazing piece of land on the north shore of kauai. the government wouldn’t let him develop it, so in a kind of...you know! to the government, he gave it to a bunch of hippies who took it over. it wasn't a commune. everyone was pretty much self- sufficient. there was an amazing little store there, which had mangoes and avocados for sale and there were gardens everywhere and outdoor showers. everyone who lived there changed their name. there was hawk and feather, bobo and star and i was rainbow.
the people who lived there designed and built these amazingly, beautiful bamboo homes on stilts. to acquire one, an owner simply passed it on when they moved on. that's how i got my tree house!
and i don’t know what I am supposed to say.
when I was in college, taking 21 units and not knowing what i wanted to be when i grew up, i took acid one night. reason? i don't know. the moon was full.
we didn’t call it taking drugs. we were just young people seeking a spiritual experience. so my inspiration from that experience was, quit school and go to hawaii-i went to a place i had heard about called taylor camp. this was the story that was told to me- elizabeth taylor’s brother owned this amazing piece of land on the north shore of kauai. the government wouldn’t let him develop it, so in a kind of...you know! to the government, he gave it to a bunch of hippies who took it over. it wasn't a commune. everyone was pretty much self- sufficient. there was an amazing little store there, which had mangoes and avocados for sale and there were gardens everywhere and outdoor showers. everyone who lived there changed their name. there was hawk and feather, bobo and star and i was rainbow.
the people who lived there designed and built these amazingly, beautiful bamboo homes on stilts. to acquire one, an owner simply passed it on when they moved on. that's how i got my tree house!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
money daze
strategy 1.
i can not tell a lie. was it simply luck that made me figure out i could do something to guarantee i would be in the running for the grand prize?
and, no- this is not a confession. this was strategy!
i clearly saw that those top 100 ladies had some trick up their respective baggy sleeves, cellulite arms not withstanding! i decided to get on board. i simply voted for myself 30 times/day-
it was, as they say, a numbers game.
now i too am in the top 150.
big $$$ prize.
wish me luck.
strategy 2.
i am publishing my children's book and and will put it online to sell.
yes. it is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
strategy 3.
don't have that one yet. working on it.
Monday, May 2, 2011
the day the money starts rolling in!
ha!
you think i had forgotten??? never. this is not all about him. or having a him. or even singing a hymn. (though that is always inspirational).
no.
this is about making money and not having money make me- crazy.
do you all realize how dependent/despondent i am, have been, as regards that ol' dollar?
do you remember the financial expert who was sorry i was so "tortured" by my money story?
well- it felt good to be acknowledged- i guess.
but i am currently most interested in turning this thing around, rather than staying in any of those rather cramped, tortured spaces.
so.
instead of continuing along the lines of frugalness, doing without, lean and bare, etc.
how about i turn it around and start making loads of money!
i'll show them!
all those bad ol' mortgage people who won't refinance me because i don't make enough money to qualify for a refinance which would reduce my loan payments $500.00 per month-which would make me qualify for a refinance! but, i don't qualify- now. without the refinance. and i cannot for the life of me get them to calculate it as if i were paying the $500.00 less per month which would qualify me... i mean, are you getting this?
so i gotta change my strategy.
making money. not spending less money.
now i might be getting somewhere.
you think i had forgotten??? never. this is not all about him. or having a him. or even singing a hymn. (though that is always inspirational).
no.
this is about making money and not having money make me- crazy.
do you all realize how dependent/despondent i am, have been, as regards that ol' dollar?
do you remember the financial expert who was sorry i was so "tortured" by my money story?
well- it felt good to be acknowledged- i guess.
but i am currently most interested in turning this thing around, rather than staying in any of those rather cramped, tortured spaces.
so.
instead of continuing along the lines of frugalness, doing without, lean and bare, etc.
how about i turn it around and start making loads of money!
i'll show them!
all those bad ol' mortgage people who won't refinance me because i don't make enough money to qualify for a refinance which would reduce my loan payments $500.00 per month-which would make me qualify for a refinance! but, i don't qualify- now. without the refinance. and i cannot for the life of me get them to calculate it as if i were paying the $500.00 less per month which would qualify me... i mean, are you getting this?
so i gotta change my strategy.
making money. not spending less money.
now i might be getting somewhere.
sadder day
well. i have not been writing.
i considered stopping.
and of course, there was.
saturday.
i was sad. i was remembering. things. memories.
i wonder - will i ever be in love again?
i have not seen or spoken to him in over three months. 90 days. they say that is the magic number of relapse. when the neuro transmitters start sending messages, hinting- perhaps i did not make a good choice. perhaps i made a mistake. perhaps i was quite wrong.
then i remember. i need to make myself remember.
the facts.
i had a dream about him. i saw him in the dream. he looked good!
but there were two of him. the one i loved came and sat with me. he reached out to me with an embrace. his twin brother got in the front seat and was running the show, giving directions, paying no attention to me.
that is the way it was.
the one that loved me, that was kind and thoughtful
and the evil twin brother that was thoughtless and oblivious to everyone but himself.
i considered stopping.
and of course, there was.
saturday.
i was sad. i was remembering. things. memories.
i wonder - will i ever be in love again?
i have not seen or spoken to him in over three months. 90 days. they say that is the magic number of relapse. when the neuro transmitters start sending messages, hinting- perhaps i did not make a good choice. perhaps i made a mistake. perhaps i was quite wrong.
then i remember. i need to make myself remember.
the facts.
i had a dream about him. i saw him in the dream. he looked good!
but there were two of him. the one i loved came and sat with me. he reached out to me with an embrace. his twin brother got in the front seat and was running the show, giving directions, paying no attention to me.
that is the way it was.
the one that loved me, that was kind and thoughtful
and the evil twin brother that was thoughtless and oblivious to everyone but himself.
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