well. i have not been writing.
i considered stopping.
and of course, there was.
saturday.
i was sad. i was remembering. things. memories.
i wonder - will i ever be in love again?
i have not seen or spoken to him in over three months. 90 days. they say that is the magic number of relapse. when the neuro transmitters start sending messages, hinting- perhaps i did not make a good choice. perhaps i made a mistake. perhaps i was quite wrong.
then i remember. i need to make myself remember.
the facts.
i had a dream about him. i saw him in the dream. he looked good!
but there were two of him. the one i loved came and sat with me. he reached out to me with an embrace. his twin brother got in the front seat and was running the show, giving directions, paying no attention to me.
that is the way it was.
the one that loved me, that was kind and thoughtful
and the evil twin brother that was thoughtless and oblivious to everyone but himself.
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